Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Verbally Processing This Thing Called Hope
I have been pondering hope lately, not just hope in the Lord and His promises, which is ultimately hope, but the demeanor of hope as it sits on a person's soul. Hope can be so freeing. It doesn't so much sit on one's soul, but it makes is float, it holds it up. But as a realist, hope is terrifying for me, even after writing that last description. Hope gives up control. It throws itself into an exhilarating free-fall from a mountaintop and risks the possibility of incredible pain. The knowledge of the risk of pain causes me to reign in any hope in which I might surely enjoy and revel.I know that I have issues and pain that I need to work through, but why do I not risk hoping, seeing its potential to bring life? Even as I process this, I am so enticed to hope, but it seems like a monster under my bed ready to grab my leg and bite it off. Arrrrg! Hope!
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Risky free-fall from mountaintop. That's one of the best descriptions of the fearful aspect of hope I've ever heard. Thanks for the honest post, Brook. I feel like I understand exactly what you mean.
ReplyDeleteWow. Good thoughts. I'm a realist, too, and have often felt like hope just sets me up for more failure or pain: it's better to not hope at all and then, at least, your not disappointed. But I see too from what you wrote that I miss out on so much because I'm not willing to risk it. Thinking about Japan, especially, I don't know how I'll survive there if I don't learn to hope -- I would never pray, the situation seems so dire to my realist self, and I think I'd go insane. I need to learn how to free-fall, I think.. :) Again, this short post helped me think a ton..
ReplyDeleteI find that I am too often sabotaging the fulfillment of my deepest desires by not hoping and believing they could be realized. I figure out how and how much I could get hurt, and then I shut down hope.
ReplyDeleteWhen I don't hope, I give power to despair (realism?). When I give power to anything besides hope, I create an idol that will surely succeed in keeping me from hope realized. My friend Megan at Bible study two weeks ago spoke of hope being reflective of the Gospel, and despair being the opposite of the Gospel. Therefore, by killing hope, I am denying the truth and glory of the Gospel for my life. Smoke that for awhile. My head is really full lately with this stuff.
excellent processing, brook. i'm proud of you and impressed, not to mention challenged. let's talk soon. much love-kate
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